There are moments that stick with you. Moments where you can remember the exact light, smell, sound and  detail as if it just happened. Moments where just remembering them  makes  your pulse quicken and your emotions begin to stir.

One of those moments happened for me at one of our free clinics. That particular clinic, overall, is a blur of activity, except for one moment that is crystal clear.

It was late in the day. Exhaustion was setting in. I entered a room where a middle aged man who spoke only Spanish sat with his two small children. In the room was an elderly, obese, black  Labrador who immediately began wagging his tail when he saw me .

It was warm. There was a fetid, rotten odor that hit me as soon as I walked in. I introduced myself, said hello to the dog, and then reviewed the intake form which asks a bunch of questions – one of which is if the animal has any health issues they know of or would like us to explore.

Highlighted in red with a big asterisk next to that portion of the form were the words “Caderas y Orejas” = Ears and Hips.  Pretty standard for an old, obese Lab.

I started my exam and discussed weight loss, arthritis, joint supplements, etc with the man who clearly loved his dog and wanted advice and help.

And then, I checked the dog’s ears.

As soon as I lifted up the ear flap, I had to put it back down because I was so shocked and horrified. The entire canal was ulcerated, bloody — the skin was missing and there was infection and raw tissue. It looked like a third degree burn victim. Never in my life had I seen anything like it. And, I am a shelter vet, I see a lot of bad ears.

It is hard, in those moments, to proceed with grace, compassion and understanding. I am sure my horrified reaction to the site of those ears was evident on my face as the man watched me. He looked at me, then looked at his children, then back at me – and I’m sorry to say that was the last time he looked me in the eye for the rest of the visit.

I told him the condition was severe and asked if he had been putting anything in the ears. He explained that the ears had been bothering the dog for some time and he had been cleaning them with different things, trying to put different home remedies in to treat the dog, and really had been trying to clean them.

It was then clear that what I was seeing was some sort of horrific ear infection coupled with some sort of horrific chemical burn from whatever this man had been putting in the ears.

There was no malice on this man’s part. He had earnestly been trying to help the dog. He was unemployed and couldn’t afford the vet, who he wouldn’t have been able to even talk to in the first place to get  a price quote for the visit because of the language barrier…. He loved his dog. He waited hours in the heat on a Sunday afternoon with his two small children to get his dog seen at our clinic in order to get help. He wasn’t cruel. He was just not educated about the issue and didn’t have the resources or knowledge to treat his dog. He didn’t have access to care.

I had to go in to a different room to examine the dog further. I didn’t want to do so in front of the man and his children, because, quite frankly, I was afraid I was going to cry.

Ultimately, I did examine the dog and come up with a  plan for pain relief and treatment, along with weight loss and support for the arthritis. The horrible smell of the dog’s ears is still with me now, as I write this, but,when I kissed that poor sweet old dog on his head I could smell something else, as well…shampoo. The dog had been recently bathed. The rest of his coat looked very well cared for…he was clearly loved.

I took a great deal of time, despite the line of animals waiting for my exam outside, to explain my instructions and concerns to the man. Gently, with understanding, but also with clear emphasis on the severity of the condition and the critical nature of the infection.

He would not look at me. He was ashamed. I felt badly.

Thank goodness we saw that dog on Sunday. Please let him be feeling relief from the medications and the pain control. 

This is why Compassion without Borders has these clinics.To serve these animals with no other recourse. To educate people who may be inadvertently harming their animals. To be a resource for those animals who otherwise would have nowhere to go and no access to this basic care.

So, sure, my stomach still turns when I think of those ears and the pain that poor dog was enduring and had been enduring for some time. And, yes, my shoulders tighten a bit and my my stomach churns as I recall the whole tragic situation and that first moment when I saw those ears and understood the gravity of the situation at hand. But the desperate nature of that dog’s situation is the exact reason why we were there at the free clinic and so those difficult emotions and situations slowly give way to the incredible gratitude and relief I feel when I realize how much suffering we are alleviating and what a valuable resource these clinics are.

Like it or not, the reality is that there are people who cannot afford even basic veterinary care for their animals. The question of whether or not it is ethical to have animals if you can’t afford them is arbitrary… people do, lots of people do. That is the reality. People started lining up at 6:30 a.m. for this clinic. Over a hundred people came out and waited for up to three hours to get their animals seen.

These animals, and the people who love them, need some recourse and these clinics are just that.

I recently read a book written by a Buddhist monk that I picked up just because of the title, which reads “If you are lucky, your heart will break”.

By that measure, I sure am one lucky lady.

My heart breaks each and every time I experience one of these moments and am in the presence of an animal who is in need . My heart breaks wide open and then the sadness spills out and I sit with it for a bit before ultimately it transforming   into the love, passion, and the motivation I have for the incredible work that Compassion without Borders does.

The suffering of these animals is at once both the source of my heartbreak and  the opportunity itself to heal  it again through creating programs, advocacy, and outreach.

I hope you will join me and Compassion without Borders in helping these animals.

HOW YOU CAN HELP

Donate: http://cwob.org/general-donation.html

Volunteer: http://cwob.org/volunteer-form.html

Spread the Word: Like us on Facebook, share our page, share our stories, get the word out about the work we are doing and raise awareness and get more folks involved!